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And honestly the only gifs I think that can probably describe all my feelings in a nutshell are:


I went through so many different emotions just within those 2 hours, that it's ridiculous. I've been a fan of Laruku for 7 years or so. I love them. They're always a group that I will forever love.

I actually didn't think I would be able to go to this show as I'm pretty low on funds, but through some awesome friends and communication, I landed a ticket literally a couple hours before the show and only physically had the ticket in my hand, 30 minutes before the concert was supposed to start.

At first I just thought that I would be fine if I missed it because I've seen HYDE twice in person. Once at Otakon 2009 and the other during a VAMPS concert here in the city. My reasoning was: I saw him preform. It'll be practically the same thing.

But upon finding out that I was officially going to the concert. The whole train ride there I was a nervous internally antsy wreck. (I even managed to drop my phone... I haven't dropped my phone since I first got it) Sitting through that show and seeing not only HYDE, but Yukihiro, Tetsu and Ken on the stage just proved that... Nope. This is nothing like seeing VAMPS. The two groups may have the same lead singer but god knows it's two completely different things and feelings.

They performed a good list of new songs and pulled out a few classics like "Honey", "Caress of Venus", "Stay Away", "Ready Steady Go", "Revelation", my all time favorite song in the world "Forbidden Lover" (which I legit started crying over once I heard the first couple of seconds of the song) and few others and then they ended it with "Niji". And it was just... Absolutely perfect.

I didn't even care that I was sitting in a section whose view was being on and off blocked by the camera or that I was sitting in front of a group of people who possibly only came to the concert because their sensei gave them tickets to see the show (and one of the guy's admitted to only knowing "Ready Steady Go" in a conversation) or the fact that my camera decided it didn't want to take awesome pictures anymore.

No, nothing else even mattered because this is Laruku. Where HYDE is amazingly charismatic and sings with a voice like no other. Where Tetsu is positively ridiculous and plays riffs on his hot pink guitar like nobody's business. Where Ken is unbelievably adorable and lit up the whole arena in just that one moment. And Where Yukihiro hypes up a crowd simply by just sitting behind his drum set the whole concert and never saying a word (with his Monopoly haha)

This was L'arc~en~Ciel. And this was purely amazing.

Here's to hoping they come back again~

Happy 20th Anniversary Guys.

Glad you Finally made it to NYC.

We love you here ♥

Jan. 31st, 2012

Is currently having one of those moments where the question of "Now what should I do?" hangs in the air

Contrary to popular belief, I'm really not that good at anything.

I can do a billion different things, but not one am I really good at. And it sucks.

It sucks so bad.

"Nothing In Between Me and The Rain"

The oddest feeling in the world (to date) for me to experience:

Talking to people about something that I'm still very much emotionally connected to (God Knows Why), all the while feeling completely absolutely disconnected from it - as if it wasn't my own story and my feelings I was talking about.

It's really hard to explain as it was just bizarre.


In Other News:

After like 3 Weeks of not being home, I exist back at home! I don't think my friends will ever understand how much I really wanted to hug every thing in this house when I got home hahah I mean I love you guys but being gone for that long period of time, I honestly start losing track of time and no bueno.

Don't expect me to "live" in New Jersey again any time soon~

In Other Other News:
Trying to apply to school while I still can (And this is why me losing track of time, because all the days feel like they mesh together when I'm not home, is a bad thing cause the deadline is like...tomorrow *hello last minute mess, how I haven't missed you*)

In Other Other Other News: 
Might be getting sick...Yay.

Went to the Glee Project Auditions this morning with a few friends and can I just say. Being surrounded by a group of down-to-earth amazing singers, kinda makes you feel at home.

It was a last minute decision that I audition but I'm glad I went and that I saw it through.

It was my first audition and I guess I should be focusing on that and the giant step forward that actually is for me. But instead I'm sitting here, going through the small amount of videos I have from today going "Wow. That was something else."

I don't know what it is, but being surrounded by so much talent didn't intimidate me but instead made me feel completely at ease.

Surpringsly so did auditioning with 4 other people at the same time.

I may not have made it through (Richard did though. Congrats honey!) but it was still a good experience.

And all of this on 1 hour of sleep haha. So now I'm going to go take that well deserved nap. It has been a long awesome day.

*Aziatix concert tomorrow~*

It's almost 6 am and I am still up...

All I have done today (yesterday) was stare at dances and learn them. What am I still doing now?

Staring at and learning dances.

This is ridiculous.

I need to go to sleep. And then wake up and start this all over again.

Dance list..... Why do you never get smaller and instead keep growing!?

---- And just so you guys have an idea.

Dances currently learning: 

  1. 2PM - Take Off
  2. Group Dance #1
  3. SNSD - The Boys
Dances I can guarantee I'm going to be learning in between those dances:
  1. Infinite - Before The Dawn
  2. f(x) - Hot Summer
  3. f(x) - Lachata (Cause Omg I finally found a dance version. Let's DO THIS)
  4. Hyuna - Bubble Pop
  5. SHINee - Love Like Oxygen
Dances I'm brushing up on (since I already learned them a while back), in between learning other dances:
  1. SNSD - Run Devil Run
  2. SHINee - Replay 
Dances I really should pick back up:
  1. miss A - Good Bye Baby
  2. Rania - Masquerade
  3. U-Kiss - Neverland
  4. U-Kiss - Bingeul Bingeul
And lolol in compiling this list and mentally wracking my brain, I've made myself tired. Perfect. SO now I'm going to go crawl under my covers and wake up hours from now and tackle these dances like it's nobody's business.

Let's Do This.


I walk into Best Buy a few hours ago just to go pick up something my mom had order and sent to the store. And after successfully getting her order, I went upstairs to go look for something for my dad.

I step off the escalator and all hell breaks loose.

After an hour in the store, wracking my brain, a desperate phone call to inuconen ,much debate and fighting my better judgement.

I leave the store with my mom's item and 3 DVDs.

"Romeo Must Die" - Because I'm a  hardcore Aaliyah fan. Even till this day I still look up to her. So being able to own the movies that she was in, means a lot.

"Robin Hood Men In Tights" - Cause Hahhahaha RIdiculous movie is ridiculous.

And then last but not least

This beautiful mess:

I Am Floating On Cloud 9. Even Though Where did this money come from to get this!?

Who Even Cares.

It's Wolf's Rain. (And I rejected DBZ Cell Games Saga and Yu Yu Hakusho - Sensui Arc for this... although I am getting YYH soon too. You better believe it!)

Excuse me while I go in a corner and cry in happiness while re-watching this amazingly gorgeous series~ ♥

Writer's Block: Love hurts

What’s the best way to mend a broken heart?
  • Realize how much time you wasted. How much that person wasn't worth it.
  • Realize that you could spend your time doing something of meaning, instead of crying over someone who doesn't deserve your tears and never did.
  • Realize your self-worth. Even if you've always known how important and special you are, realize it even more. Build back your confidence.
  • If you're angry... which god knows you're going to be angry... find a non-life threatening way to get it out. Me: I watched Rock Lee and Sakura kick ass for hours on end and then went onto to other fighting movies or fighting games. Or danced it out with DDR or picked up another choreography. Got all my frustration out.
  • Have an Outlet for when you're everything but angry.  I wrote a lot. I sang a lot. I danced a lot. I made that Utena AMV.
  • Music. Music helped a lot. There's nothing that can break you or make you when you're emotional or hurt more than music.
  • Friends. Friends can't mend your broken heart but they can help you push it to the back burner.
  • Distractions. Don't think about it more than you can help.
  • Find something that makes you happy and indulge in it a little bit. I think that's part of the reason why I'm even more addicted to Glee and Klaine. It helped a lot when I felt like crap and God Did I Feel Like Crap.
  • Take those metaphorical scissors and cut them out of your life if need be. If that's what you have to do, that's what you got to do.
  • Hmm I know It's stupid and cliche to say "Time" but hey, it's cliche for a reason because it's true. Just got to Keep-It-Going. 
"I'm too Fly to be Depressed" - lol that line made me feel ridiculously better that year. I love you Ne-Yo~

Side noting: People say "Find someone else to fix it for you" Um no.  I never was a fan of this, although I feel like that was all I was hearing. I don't think it's smart to jump into another relationship so shortly after your last one went sour. Especially if another relationship is the last thing on your mind. That doesn't sound like it'll lead to good things. That just sounds like more drama and too much lying to yourself and the other involved. (And seriously, do the people that tell you these thing, think it's that easy? That works when it was just a crush, not that easy when it's something else)

Personally I don't think it ever really goes away, but then again, I wouldn't really know, call me in 5 years and we'll see what my answer to that will be.  Although, it does fade (or really I should say it just gets that much easier to ignore). 

And this ended up a lot longer than I wanted and I'm now about to be late hahaha whoops.

Update #2

- Still have power as the storm hasn't hit. Although the whether has started changing slowly but surely. Some rain and winds. But nothing too serious. We'll see if it gets worse than this come 8 and beyond~

- Adding on to that. If the winds do get really bad, there is a high chance I will be powerless as the cables and wires are overground. But we do have candles all around the house. Flashlights on the ready. Non-perishable food around. And my laptop battery is fully charged (although it only last 2 hours), as well as my cell phone (which last roughly 24 hours if I don't use the music player or talk eccessively on it. Possibly more.)

- I will be painfully bored if we don't have power. Looks like I'll sit here with pen and paper and attempt to write something or draw or just...ugh. Don't even want to imagine it. My life without music. Horrible.

- Come 8. My music shuts off. So I'm enjoying it now hahah ahh

- Windows are as secure as we can manage.

- Air conditioners are covered.

- Extra water is around. In case for some reason water is shut off.

- Garbage cans were brought in in case the winds are strong. We don't need anything crashing through.

- I haven't been here in a while, so I spent an hour or so running around this house, finding spare outlets. Looking at places that are a perfect place to stay stationed in case for some reason, windows do blow in. In case, those really big trees in the front want to take a trip. I think we'll be fine in a worse case scenerio. 

- And I think that's all. In the mean time I'm sitting here sippin' my Caramel Frappe, jammin' to Beyonce after a ridiculously long Skype/Oovoo session with my dad and sister haha dorks xD

I'm about to ditch the pajamas and put on real clothes, in case something happens and the need to run out becomes apparent. Although that wouldn't be smart considering flying debris can be dangerous. Either way, the spandex shorts and 8th grade shirt I'm rocking right now is not a good outfit choice in case of anything so yes~

Take A Pause!

I had already planned on what I was going to write an entry about the other day but then I woke up today and things changed. And instead I was going to write about something that's continuously bothering me. More so now than ever, even though it shouldn't be. But then that all flew out the window when I woke up from my ridiculously long nap of sadness and got online. Checked my youtube and realized that the person I was talking to got back to me and posted up the video I was asking about.

This is now going to be a happy post. I'll emotionally rant later haha

Dominic and Lauren, I adore these two. But omg this was one of my favorite parts of that whole last livestream. Stop and stare at Dominic and his amazing. I can't even with those notes, putting us all to shame.

I have such a vocal crush on him (and it doesn't help that he's just plain adorable either) haha

Words Cannot Express My Sadness~

Oh livejournal...

I never want to part from you and yet I've seemed to have take a month hiatus away from you. 

Well not completely away... I may not have been posting and updating my lj but I have been stalking the kurt_blaine  community Hard and I've been somewhat active there. So I haven't entirely disappeared but still... I miss my lj.

But I only use LJ to post about things that can be written out. I don't have anything that I feel the need to express in written word. Not even fangirling. As I joined tumblr and I found out even more than when I stalk k_b day and night that I can fangirl through gifs, so words became useless.

Oh life- what have you become T_T

I blame this partially on Otakon as well -which btw, Yeah guys so that totally happened but I don't really want to talk about it cause of the fail... maybe later?-

I spent a lot of time getting ready for Otakon, running around getting fabric or buying clothes and accessories, and learning dances and learning songs that I shut out my internet life aside from facebook so I could not be distracted. And now it's become a habit. My life.... ugh

LJ. My Dear. LJ. I will come back to you. For I never wanted to part.

Tomorrow just for you. I'll post something meaningful, I promise. We will be reunited in our love.

And I don't know if you guys can tell but I'm tired. And I'm like sick off of too much tea. (Didn't know that was possible!?) And I have to be up in 5 hours but yet I'm here scrolling through my dashboard and k_b again. Priorites how you've failed me.


Real post tomorrow, I promise ♥

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